The Unfriendly Mirror

Hello lovely Batties, may I ask, if the mirror was your friend when you got up this morning?  You see I have a most unfriendly mirror in my bedroom. Why, just this morning it threw out an image of me looking quite frightful. Prior to this encounter I’d been feeling fine, well on a scale of 1 – 10, I’d say about a 5. I’d done my usual morning check of running my hands over my stomach to see how bloated it felt today.  Not too bad I thought, so I plucked up the courage to peek under the duvet for a visual. At this point I was still rating a 5.

Off I trot to do my morning ablutions, still feeling a 5 possibly a 6 now as I wasn’t aching anywhere. Then it happened, as I slipped my nightie off I glanced up and my mirror threw me an image which wasn’t in keeping with my morning thus far. I did a double check, turned to the left and looked at my sideways reflection, then turned to the right, I even sucked by belly in as far as I could. This can’t be right, I’m now feeling like a miserable 9. Surely my mirror is joking with me? It can’t possibly be showing me the truth now, can it?


Now I have to decide whether or not I can afford the calories of breakfast, or should I skip lunch, or maybe even both?  Wouldn’t it be great if I could just gulp air, especially if I could find a way to flavour it?  Actually, that’s a bad idea, I already look like someone has pumped me full of air during the night. Thank goodness it wasn’t helium, as I would have to tether myself to the bed at night so as not to wake up on the ceiling!

Goodness, what is that I smell? I do believe it’s a touch of Pongitis (posted 09/01/16). My breathing is shallow and I’m agitated, what a lousy day this has turned into!

Now if I could only just b-r-e-a-t-h-e!

Does anyone else go through this morning ritual?

6 thoughts on “The Unfriendly Mirror

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