Okay lovely Batties, let’s take a little peek at the concept of being ‘selfish’, as I believe it to be a much maligned word.
The Concise Oxford Dictionary – A deficient in consideration for others, thinking chiefly of one’s own personal profit or pleasure, having little regard for others.
So it is not being ‘selfish’ when you are pushed for time or not feeling well, or really not wanting to do something, to simply say no!
I am constantly surprised by people’s comments in this regard. I have had it said to me, when the truth was that I’d done loads for this person and at a time when I was experiencing deep personal distress. I’d finally woken up to the fact that If I didn’t look after myself first, I was going to burn out.
If everybody nurtured themselves first, they would then have the energy to be fully present when helping others. The way I see it is that the world is full of deeply wounded, exhausted people trying to use what little energy they have to help others. Over-stretching themselves, they then become resentful towards the person who has ‘put upon them’. It’s not the other persons fault that you don’t respect yourself enough to take the proper care. And rather than simply say “no”, dive into a world of bitterness.
So next time someone asks you a ‘favour’ that you’d rather not do at that time, gently explain that you are ‘replenishing’. The dictionary definition for this is: to make full or complete again, to supply with fresh fuel, to fill again or anew.
Of course, if things have got severe and you’re at rock bottom, then tell them that you are ‘vacating’, literally, gone away! For if you continue this bad practice you might literally vacate your mind and we definitely don’t want that!!!
Also, you need to remember to just b-r-e-a-t-h-e!