Not a nice subject to discuss but we’ve all been there. Strangely, managing them never seems to get any easier. I had a meltdown recently, which I found quite fascinating. I was able to observe and ask myself questions as to what the heck was really going on!
It all seemed to come to a head quite suddenly but retrospectively I can see it was a build up over several days. As you know, blogging is new to me and I’ve had a rather steep learning curve. I’ve had to learn to engage on Twitter and create a separate Facebook group for my blog. Also, I recently registered to run a women’s circle and had to create a Facebook group for that too, along with all sorts of other stuff.
I found it hard to organise everything for the women’s circle and none of the Facebook groups were straight forward and I am still trying to sort one of them out. It was this last problem which sent me in to freefall.
I had to leave the problem and go do the grocery shop with my husband. After the shopping we were sat in the café quaffing coffee and I was filled with a sense of urgency to get back home and sort the problem. I was literally so tense that I felt like a coiled spring. I was looking at my husband wondering how on earth he could be so calm and relaxed and why couldn’t he hurry his coffee so we could get home! He seemed to be doing everything in quadruple slow motion. I almost hated him for being so relaxed (he’s so unlike me, thank goodness!) Of course he is oblivious to all of this, as I am struggling with myself to at least look calm. I honestly wanted to cry, I was so frustrated by the problem and my reaction.
Why couldn’t I just let it go for an hour and enjoy this moment with my husband? Why was I like this? The answer is that I’m a perfectionist and like to feel in control of everything and I clearly wasn’t, not even in control of myself?
The solution – letting it go. I’ve sent an email to Facebook and there is nothing else I can do until I get a reply. The world is not going to shudder in horror and folk don’t even know or care how smoothly my Facebook group is running.
The lesson – lighten up and don’t take myself so seriously. I’m not perfect and nobody expects me to be. Phew, it feels good to get that off my chest!!!